Abandon Me by Melissa Febos
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

It's always so hard for me to "rate" memoirs, because these are people's lives that we are talking about here. And it takes some gut to be so open and honest to many readers about some of your very private experiences. Don't get me wrong, I love memoirs, but I feel like I've read so many of them that I can be picky about which ones I prefer over others.

I found the content is this novel overly sexual. While I'm trying to not judge anyone here, I was personally put off from reading it. Sure, I could appreciate the voice of introspection that the author was putting forth, but there were no transitions from one scene to another. The "chapters" skipped around in timeline, story, and pace. As much as I tried to keep up with it, this memoir just didn't engage me in a way that I would have wanted it to.

Some of the writing felt like "stream of consciousness" and while it makes the appearance be very "raw" it also seems like some of the writing was unedited. On one hand it was extremely fearlessly vulnerable, with the opening of the mental space that the author put us in, I just don't know if I was personally ready to explore those themes in this memoir. There wasn't any clear construction, more freestyle which made it harder to grasp what the point that she was trying to convey.

I didn't feel compelled to pick it up, to continue on reading, but I was intrigued enough to keep on reading. This review seems to be full of contradictions, just as the book seems to be.

Thanks to NetGalley for providing me with an e-ARC in exchange for my honest review.


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I See You by Clare Mackintosh
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I've come to the conclusion that Clare Mackintosh isn't the author for me. Earlier this year I picked up her debut novel "I Let You Go" because of high praise from trusted bookish peeps, but I ended up not loving it that much, or at best feeling lukewarm about it. When this ARC came up on NetGalley, because the last name felt familiar I decided to give it another chance.

I thought that as a whole, this book was extremely unrealistic in the sense that who would do this? I don't want to get into spoilers, because after all this is a whodunit, but I just could not understand why the said characters did what they did and how they played it off. Overall, I just had a lot of disbelief at some of the circumstances, so it wasn't exactly the fun realistic thriller that I had high hopes for, based on the synopsis.

There is a solid buildup growing, increased anxiety, tension, and paranoia that I was dragged into as a reader. I believe that's really an art, and the author did perform extremely well in that area. What added to that is that you have the POV of the stalker, who is tracking a character unknowingly and we get a look into his twisted thoughts.

Two POVs are split in this book, which usually don't work out for me that well. It's between what I would consider the MC Zoe Walker and a police detective Kelly Swift. I just thought that there was some unnecessary baggage and subplots from both sides, and I got slightly bored and just wished that those were overall cut-out.

One thing that I didn't know is that this is similar in a very specific way to Girl on the Train, in the sense that a lot of the setting is in the London Underground train system, and it has those creepy vibes. I personally hated Girl on the Train, because that book my my hair stand on end and gave me actual goosebumps.

In the end, while this was an entertaining thriller, it's very forgettable and I just feel "meh" about it.

**Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for providing me with a copy of this book in exchange of my honest review. All opinions are my own.**

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The Mortifications by Derek Palacio
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

Extremely quirky and extremely bizarre.

This felt like magical realism for me, because while there weren't any "apparent" ghosts, you could feel their pulse throughout the story, which is completely fascinating to me. But at a point, the author went too much into psycho-analyzing the characters' choices, motivations, and decisions. And to be quite honest, I didn't care to listen to pages of their agony or analyzing all of their thoughts.

Towards the middle of the book, I started feeling completely disconnected to the characters and plotline. I was so bored that I actually kept on yawning-granted I read this mostly at night,but- that just goes to show that this book truly wasn't really keeping my attention in check.

I have a think for disliking dysfunctional family sagas, which isn't what I first expected when this book got into my hands. Expecting that it was going to highlight the immigrant experience more in-depth, which it did slightly, but that's the part of the book that I felt very lacking. There are just some disturbing things going on in the dialogue between some of the characters, and I personally wasn't compelled to keep on picking it up.

**Thanks for Blogging for Books for providing me with a review copy in exchange for my honest opinion.**

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Difficult Women by Roxane Gay
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

"They stood in the house where they had grown up filled with broken people and broken things.”

Brilliant and phenomenal writing about living the everyday female life. (whatever that is...)

Surprisingly, this is the first book that I've ever read by Roxane Gay, so it's definitively an introduction into her writing style. I personally really enjoyed most of her short stories that were in here, only a couple of them fell flat for me. Overall, I was thankful for the unique glimpse that she was able to give the readers into all different types of women's lives. She writes such strange and weird stories, but still managed to hook me in and make it look realistic.

Some common themes that threaded throughout were: poverty, privilege, marriage, love, motherhood, sex, loss, trauma.

I could really appreciate and get behind the way that women were portrayed. There were unapologetic, strong women you continue to go on despite all of the stuffs that's going on. Gay doesn't sugarcoat nor try to cover up the reality of these individual experiences, and that laid-bare honestly is what I've been looking for in these types of feminist novels.

The thing is, it's essential to read a book at the right timing. And sadly, this week hasn't been the right timing for me to read this sort of book, as I constantly was not only distracted but felt completely off-of-my-reading-game in several ways, and therefore I don't feel like I could be enjoying this to the fullest potential that it was meant to be. I may want to revisit some of my favorites later on closer to the publication date to relive this reading experience with the bookish community.

**Thanks for NetGalley and the publisher for providing an e-ARC in exchange for my honest review. All opinions are my own.**

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Irena's Children: The Extraordinary Story of the Woman Who Saved 2,500 Children from the Warsaw Ghetto by Tilar Mazzeo
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Absorbing, heart-wrenching, and a must-read for all reader interested in this era.

" This is history, through a glass darkly, with all the attendant perils of the great darkness that was the Holocaust in Poland both during the Second World War and in the decades of communist rule that followed. I have used in all cases my best judgement as a historian and scholar and then proceeded to get on with telling the story of an astonishing group of men and women who saved from the darkness thousands of children." (Tilar J. Mazzeo in the Afterword of this book.)

As someone always interested in reading nonfiction WWII, and also 100% Polish, this book immediately rang my bells. I can proudly say that after finishing this, it is an unforgettable story in my stack of books. Big thank you to all of the meticulous research that must have been done by Mazzeo to make this book as historically accurate as possible.

This book describes the powerful journey of Irena Sendler, a Polish Catholic, who saved 2,500 children's lives from the Warsaw Ghetto. It is an incredible insider look into the Underground Resistance, one that I haven't ever studied so closely before and I was completely fascinated.

Even though this is a nonfiction biography story, for me it can be classified as a narrative. It just flows so well and I really felt emotionally connected and empathetic to Irena and could understand what risks and decisions that she had to make.

I'm still shocked that her heroic story is not well-known in history classes in high school, but maybe that's the way she would want it. This reading experience was deeply enlightening, even though it was quite difficult to get into that head-space. In my opinion, this should be a required reading, because it shows you that there is hope, that there is goodness in human beings even in the most bleak circumstances. Especially considering this current political climate, I really do think that this a valuable lesson to revisit, before history could repeat itself.

**Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for sending an e-ARC of this book in exchange for my honest review. All opinions are my own.**

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Born a Crime by Trevor Noah
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

"But the real world doesn't go away. Racism exists. People are getting hurt, and just because it's not happening to you doesn't mean it's not happening."

Eye-opening and raw, this book changed my perspective, gave me something to think about, and educated my mindset about systemic racism in ways that I haven't known before. I had physical reactions of laughs of dark comedy, gasps of chilling shock, and tears leaking from my eyes.

Noah is the host of The Daily Show, and although he didn't touch upon that part of his life, he implements excellent dark comedy and musings into these pages, and I loved every word of it. I just hope that he writes another book soon, because I want more from him as a writer.

This is one of the best memoirs that I've read this year, and that's saying a lot because memoirs are one of my favorite genres, and this one came from a powerful narrative. <
Trevor Noah grew under the reign of apartheid in South Africa for his whole young life, and he describes the every-day various experiences that he had to go through. As a poor bi-racial boy who was raised by a strong bad-ass single mom, he describes details that he remembers from his life. He's the offspring of a Swiss father To be perfectly honest, some of them were unimaginable to my privileged brain, which made his life story that more fascinating. It felt absolutely miraculous to experience life from someone else's viewpoint that I've been ignorant about.

As a student of history, I thought that this had some heavy historical themes, but that was wall engraved from Noah's perspective walking through his life. And I wasn't aware of the specific history in South Africa, they don't teach that to us in school. But I think that I now see Africa differently than before reading this book, and that makes this experience completely worthwhile and valuable of my time.

The thing is, that even though this book deals with some very tough issues since the first page, this book was very readable and enjoyable to me. Because it's written in essay format, it doesn't go chronologically from event to event, instead focuses on the themes that Noah wants to display.

I think that this is a discussion that we needs to continually be having, especially in this political climate and so this is the perfect book to read to open that door for discussion.

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Under Rose-Tainted Skies by Louise Gornall
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

I could really appreciate that this book does focus on mental illness and self-harm as a central issue in Norah's life. This wasn't just one of those books when she met a guy and two minutes later she is all cured and ready to face the world.My problem is with how an agoraphobic who couldn't take a step outside, suddenly one month later is going outside with her boyfriend. So from that perspective the love angle rushed the healing journey, which could have been portrayed at a slower pace.

The author already has a unique writing style, but she tried too hard. There were so many descriptive metaphors and flowery language and adjective that I kept on having the impulse of just editing out those sentences or skipping through them. An overabundance just never seems to be well-written to me.

The romance for me was super awkward and I didn't think that they had the chemistry between them that authors strive for couples to have. Norah had really high and unrealistic expectations for Luke and he really did appear to be too "perfect and cliche" for my taste. Another issue that I had was there was the "popular girl, cheerleader, flirt, perfect queen" character who was going after the love interest and had absolutely no character substance. Like at this point, having read a lot of romance novels, it really does get on my nerves when this type of narrow stereotypical girl is used just as a plot device. Aren't we over repeating that?

I didn't personally connect to the character of Norah, because I felt like the readers sometimes get too deep and too close inside her head, to the point where I had to put the book down because it was making me anxious, therefore lessening the pleasure of my reading experience overall. I did have to put the book down several times, and I felt like the author could have down a step back and switched it up with another character's perspective in 3rd persons (her moms, her therapists, Luke,etc.) so that it could be a refresher. Maybe the author was too close emotionally to this issue and could have made more distance between her experiences and Norah's.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for providing me a copy of this book in order for my honest review. All opinions are my own.

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Wreck and Order by Hannah Tennant-Moore
My rating: 1 of 5 stars

This book was such a slug for me to get through, plotwise at least. I felt like the author didn't really have a sense of direction of where the character's life is going, so we wandered around aimlessly with the character's boring monologues and introspective thoughts constantly being repeated on the page.

Like many others, I think that I'm not in the group of readership for it. I just don't relate and didn't connect to the main character at all. I thought that she was a spoiled brat that whined and complained about her oh-so-big problems that she got herself into. The content really frustrated me, because it seemed like the author was trying to overly push her political agenda on us (the readers) but I didn't feel like was supposed to be her purpose in this novel.

Basically I could equate what's inside this book as diary ramblings of a lost and unhappy soul, who is so "normal" that I really stopped caring what she did with her life on page 5. I can recognize what the author was trying to show here, a journey or exploration of oneself, it just didn't come out like that to me.

Sad to say, that this book has taken me painfully 6 hours of life, and I also regret wasting, so it's would be a perfectly ok option to DNF this book.

*Thanks to BloggingforBooks and the publisher for giving me a review copy in exchange for my honest review. All opinions are my own.*.

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The German Girl: A Novel by Armando Lucas Correa
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This book surprised me, in the best possible way. I've considered myself a WWII buff for a long while now, but reading this book made me realize that I've never even heard of anything about the St.Louis. Well, this story is the story of a journey of friendships, relationships, and the actual trip and aftermath of across the ocean. We follow the life story of Hannah, a Jewish-born wealthy child living in Berlin. Her and her family make an escape sailing to Havana Cuba, where the climax of the whole story happens.

Rarely do I see dual perspective from different time periods work in a historical fiction novel, and this was sadly no exception. I just felt so drawn to the main narrative-Hannah's-that I really felt no emotional connection to the 2014 descendant, Anna. It's one of those things where you just want to skip the chapters with the other POV, and just continue being immersed in the life story of the main character.

Also, beware that the first 30% was extremely hard for me to get into, I just couldn't immerse myself completely into the story yet sadly. But I'm so glad that I was able to push through because it worth the effort and I couldn't recommend it enough to others.

My favorite part of this whole book was how the author had the ability to describe intricacies and the nuances of friendships between children that have their childhood taken away from then. The best relationship in this whole book in my opinion were the exchanges in dialogue between Hannah and her best and only friend Leo. That same concept later on repeats with Diego and Ana which was also heartwarming to watch from Hannah's perspective.

There are moments when it's better to accept it's all over, that there's nothing more to be done. Give up and abandon hope :surrender.That's how I felt by then. I didn't believe in miracles.This had happened to us because we insisted on changing a destiny that was already written. We didn't have any rights, we couldn't reinvent history. We were condemned to be deceived from the moment we came into the world.

This is probably the most memorable beautiful piece of writing in this book, and it's filled with some jewels as these. I couldn't get over how this book didn't cover up or shy away from racism, sexism, immigration, and depression/mental illness, and ignorance to all of these things all of which are hard topics to discuss.

The two main themes that resonated with me at least and were repeated over and over again were: the feeling of being "impure" and "unwanted". I loved how the author seemed to weave these two emotions throughout the whole plot-line, because I felt like it really was a driving point of Hannah's life in many ways. It kind of broke my heart every-time that I would see Hannah wrestling with these things that were so deeply instilled inside of her.

Overall, this is a book that opens your eyes and encourages you to more acceptance and love (or even simply tolerance) towards others that are different than you. Would highly recommend for everyone to pick this one up!

Thanks to NetGalley and Atria Books for providing me an e-ARC of this book in exchange for my honest review. All opinions are my own.

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Mischling by Affinity Konar
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Let me preface by saying that I knew what I was getting into, because I am a huge WWII "buff reader". I'm always completely fascinated with everything that happened during this time period, but I'm also pretty picky because of the repetitive nature of this narrative.

However, with that being said, this story was told from a completely different perspective. Before this, I didn't know about the existence of "The Zoo" in Auschwitz. This was a separate place where twins and triplets were taken to be put under experimentation by Dr.Mengele. I could always appreciate a book that teaches me something new.

The two MCs of this story: Pearl and Stasha had a perhaps fantasy bond that I would strongly admire. It seemed their connection ran hard and deep, there looked to be no end to this "mischling love".

“Tell me,' she said, her eyes trailing the fly's escape over the fence and into the fields, 'what does it feel like - to be of value?'

I said that I didn't know. A lie, obviously. I knew the feeling of value well, I'd known it until Mama and Zayde were taken away, and it still remained - though in an altered form - with Stasha, who valued me more than herself. But I wasn't about to boast of this to Bruna, whose frenzy had enlarged in such a manner that the whole of her quaked. The index finger of her right hand shook the most. She pointed it at a building in the distance, a building that I'd later come to know as one of Mengele's laboratories.

'Please,' she entreated, 'tell me when you understand? I would like to know.”
^^ One of my favorite quotes that stood out to me the most.

I felt emotionally connected to only Stasha, because I felt like she was the beating heart of the story, at least as the narrator. It was written in 1st person, therefore you can really get into the thoughts of these characters; also had a multiple/alternating POVs.

One of the reasons why I didn't feel that emotionally connected was because of the tone. It was changing between naïveté and wise with the characters, which made me feel like the tone was too disconnected. Because of this I personally didn't cry. For me, that means that it doesn't pack a punch in my gut enough for the waterworks to start, therefore I couldn't rate this higher.

**Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for providing me a copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. All opinions are my own.**



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The Other Einstein by Marie Benedict
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

The Other Einstein is the story of a Mileva -Mitza-Marić, a footnote in Albert Einstein's studied life. You know what, I personally love reading books about forgotten histories with female protagonists. This book was absolutely an excellent example and accomplishment of what it means to take a closer look at the women enabling the "genius famous" men to do their work. The woman behind Einstein's work.

I was surprised to discover that there is actually lots of historical controversy on whether Mitza actually contributed or did all of the work behind some of Albert Einstein's work, and yet disappointingly got no credit. Over and over again there were just example of sexism and abuse that shocked me, because the way that the author wrote this had an engaging writing style.


I was completely absorbed in the story of Mitza's life, which I found to be absolutely fascinating. She definitively didn't take her education for granted, because she was a brilliant scholar who fought for her place at the Zurich University. She was studying physics also just has a genius brain for math, but is still struggling to be accepted in the classroom as a women. Her character is so complex and you can see kind of her life trajectory and it was neat to see how she tied in Newton's laws into her life story.

The only thing that I kind of had a problem with is how the climax/conflict came at the very last pages of the novel. I was honestly expecting this continually-boiling pot to break at some point earlier, and I kind of just got frustrated with how slow the characters were moving towards the conclusion.

Please note: That this is an imaginary fiction telling of their lives portrayed, and although there was an extent of research involved, Benedict does alienate admirers of Albert Einstein. I know I would definitively take this novel with a grain of salt.

**Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for providing me a copy of this in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.**


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The Wonder by Emma Donoghue
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

“One never imagined that as the decades went by, one might drift into an unbounded country. It struck Lib now how alone in the world she was.”

This book is truly a treasure for the historical fiction genre, because I let my whole mind and body feel the atmosphere that Donoghue has created. This takes place in the 1850s, in a rural Irish town, tucked away in some little corner of the world, as I like to think, so it was intriguing and doing something that you don't really see that often in literary fiction.

The best thing about this book for me, is that her writing literally transported me and injected me to that specific 10 day period of time and place. You really come to feel the various characters' frustrations and you grow to love main character(even though she's not the narrator)-Anne. You can really identify the sexism and non-sensitivity or lack of action that is happening all around by most of the secondary characters.

I had so much empathy for Lib, and all of her patience, that I kind of wanted to grow something at certain characters and her actions in this book were deeply admirable and have earned my greatest respect.

For me, the most fascinating thing was how much it touched on the religion of Catholicism and the corruption and various bad things that happened around that time because of people of that faith. As having an insider experience in growing up in this church, I was sometimes shocked at every page about how some people were being treated, and who they were being treated as. Donoghue makes you feel emotions: like rage, frustration, shock, scoffing,etc. and that is the mark of a excellent writer for me, if they can get a visceral reaction from me.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for providing me an e-ARC of this book in exchange for my honest opinion.

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The Light Fantastic by Sarah Combs
My rating: 1 of 5 stars

"One Nation, Under the Assassins, Indivisible, with Revenge and Punishment
for All."

I was so tempted to DNF this, and I really should have let it go as many other trusted reviewers have done. The multiple POVs were probably the most confusing I have ever read in a book, because I couldn't figure out who was narrating and where the flashbacks happened. I didn't connect to any of the characters, I didn't care what was happening in the plotline. The POV went from 1st person to 3rd person and then back again and so the reader had to constantly be adjusting

This story follows a group of "hurt" people on the internet who are planning violent actions that are to be happening in their school environments. I feel like this story has already been told, and there are better perspective on it to find elsewhere. There are 7 narrators, none of which I can remember anything remarkable thing about; in fact I just finished it and I can't remember one significant fact about any of the specific connection. And that's pathetically low for me.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for providing me an e-ARC of this in exchange for my honest review.

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