Sunday, October 29, 2017

Emma in the NightEmma in the Night by Wendy Walker
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

When you read a thriller in one sitting, without any breaks, because you're so enraptured and addicted to the plot twists and events, you know that it’s a keeper. As an avid psychological thriller reader, who has read countless other books with similar ideas/premises, this one definitely specifically had that shocking ending came out of left field.

The two Tanner sisters, mysteriously disappear one foggy night about three years ago. Emma was 17 and Cass 15, just young teenagers. After three long years Cass unexpectedly appears at her mothers doorstep alone... Then the story goes from there. What happened to the Tanner girls? Where is Emma and why did they leave?

One thing that I was fascinated by what is the exploration of narcissistic personality disorder that was labeled to their mother from a professional psychologist who had first-hand experience with their own mother. It was apparent that the author had really studied and researched these behavior patterns in family life.

However it's still rubs me the wrong way when mental illness is demonized because the stereotype of the “evil abusive mother” is rarely well done and more often than not damaging. I am hesitant to label this an accurate or good rep in this book and also I can't comment on the rep of the specific personality disorders so I'm kind of torn on how to view this.

It still rubs me the wrong way when mental on this is our demonize because this is the evil abusive mother and while I've always been fascinated by behavioral psychology I am hesitant to label this an accurate or good rap in this book and also I can't comment on the specific personality disorders so I'm kind of

A highlight of this book was that one of the two POV's. Dr. Abby Winters who is investigating, as well as the examining psychologist of the case. It's always the most interesting perspective when it's an objective outsider of the family who isn't directly involved in the messy past. From her perspective I feel like we gained and we learned so much about truly the dynamics and the psychological part.

One thing that made really put me off was the fact that for 99% of the writing there was just telling and not showing. There were no flashbacks, no third perspective objectively told, nothing that could be considered as showing. It was just all composed of stories that Cass told to the police detectives and family members. I know that the author did this in a deliberate way for the plot furthering purpose but the most basic rule of writing and crafting an excellent book is show not tell and this had minimal to no showing. Which is why I felt like I had a sour lemon in my mouth after I finished this book, unfortunately.

**Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for providing me a copy in exchange for my honest review. All opinions are my own**


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The Only Girl in the World: A MemoirThe Only Girl in the World: A Memoir by Maude Julien
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

TW: sexual abuse, physical abuse, self harm, emotional abuse, animal cruelty/abuse, suicidal thoughts

In the vein of “The Glass Castle” by Jeannette Walls, this memoir explores the traumatic and a vastly different childhood from the “typical” western one. We follow Maude, an only child who grew up in France, completely isolated and cut off from the world for all her childhood. She was raised in a way where her father forced her to do physically train to survive under horrible conditions like being locked in a dark ray cellar for hours, intense physical activities after midnight, and left for days without food, etc.

From a young age, she was taught to not smile or show any emotion, that the world is a big bad place and people can kidnap her, that she should be taught to survive WWII era conditions. She was never shown any love or affection from her mother or father, because that was for “weak” people and she was a “superior being”. She could only bath in dirty water once a week after her father and mother did, and had to take out the chamber pot for her elderly father. There was a very strict schedule and no time for idleness. You get the picture, how absolutely messed up this family was.

All of her precious animals where abused, her dog chained up all day only let out for a couple hours at night, her horse forced to drink alcohol (incidentally she was also forced to drink alcohol since a very young age so that she could learn how to hold it down.)

While reading personal memoirs like this, I always find it extremely difficult to rate someone's life, so I tend to focus on the writing and coherent flow. In this instance, the writing was extremely straightforward, but the author focused on the same details of every day life, not necessarily on the big picture.

I usually like the memoir to be a bit more self reflective and introspective, which this lacked. Know that you're getting a very specific period of time, and I was waiting for more content in Maude adult life, like the psychological affects of her extremely hard upbringing; and was extremely pleased to know that she had become a therapist herself. She had survived so much brokenness and fear and darkness, that my heart was breaking for this child on every page as well.

One of the most important elements that I look for in memoirs is relatability. To my surprise from, from the initial synopsis I was doubtful, there were several very personal aspects that I strongly understood how it felt like. For example the love that your animals give you when you care about them, the way music makes you feel strong emotions, the way that she was homeschooled and didn't learn the material she was supposed to know , the way books let you escape into a completely different world.

I felt like because the author put these lights in between the cracks of darkness; which is why I could really enjoy and appreciate the story as a whole more. If you love reading cult books, I would put this one in your hands if we were at a bookstore. The abusive manipulative father is a religious fanatic who has created his own religion and is trying to force it down his child brides’ and chosen daughters’ throat. This is truly a touchingly dark memoir that really makes you think and re-examine your own life and that is always a good sign that the author has done their job.

*Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for giving me a copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. All opinions are my own.**

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